Further Along

Right now you're developing the ability to hear, likely. We never stop developing, don't forget that, as it's easy to do so throughout life. From the onset of your genesis, I've made some discoveries about myself that explain years of angst, impatience, tolerance, service. I inherently lean towards all of these traits at one time or another. Every time I watch a war movie I feel a sense of envy. When I witness what in my opinion is inefficiency in human behavior when it affects others I lose patience. ( read: Morons inconveniencing a larger group out of inconsideration ) On the other hand, when I see a genuine struggle, or an honest human mistake, I find myself willing to tolerate more than I would normally think. ( my tolerance is maybe a bit more flawed than this ) Finally, I feel an overwhelming obligation to serve others when I feel they are in my care – and well.

I also have shown, in life, a tendency to start— talk about, drum up energy for, create a vision of —random plans to fix my world. Note the possessive in that statement, as it is my belief that the world and our world are separate ( you're in my world, making it our world ) – on that notion I will remark later. These traits, and my lifelong tendencies have all come from an inherent sense of purpose to lead a great fight. Be it a war for rights, to protect my people, to create a better place or tomorrow ... yadda yadda, but a war. Not a battle, not a skirmish, a giant, life-defining, glory making war.

I've learned that since you came about. I need a war. Perhaps it's in our Cesarean blood, maybe I learned it growing up ( more on nature / nurture later too ) but it's there, and until I find the right fight, I won't rest. Perhaps your arrival will change me further, and I'll make the discovery. Maybe I'll lose the will.